An offended brother is harder to win than a fortified city, and disputes are like the bars of a castle.
Parallel translations
- WEB A brother offended is more difficult than a fortified city; and disputes are like the bars of a fortress.
- KJV A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
- NKJV A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.
- NASB A brother who is offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And quarrels are like the bars of a citadel.
- NLT An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. lockman.org
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Quick answer
Reconciling with an offended brother is harder than capturing a fortified city. Wounded relationships can become stubbornly entrenched.
Overview
This proverb pictures an estranged brother as more impregnable than a strong city, and quarrels as the iron bars of a fortress. It soberly recognizes how deeply offense can harden hearts and resist reconciliation. The warning underscores the wisdom of avoiding needless offense and the costly necessity of forgiveness, which the gospel both commands and empowers through the reconciling work of Christ (Eph. 4:32).
Cross-references & the web
Cross-references · 14
- Prov 16:32He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city.
- Acts 15:39Their disagreement was so sharp that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus,
- Prov 6:19a false witness who gives false testimony, and one who stirs up discord among brothers.
- 1 Kgs 12:16When all Israel saw that the king had refused to listen to them, they answered the king: “What portion do we have in David, and what inheritance in the son of Jesse? To your tents, O Israel! Look now to your own house, O David!” So the Israelites went home,
- Gen 37:3–5Now Israel loved Joseph more than his other sons, because Joseph had been born to him in his old age; so he made him a robe of many colors.
- Gen 4:5–8but He had no regard for Cain and his offering. So Cain became very angry, and his countenance fell.
- Gen 27:41–45Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. And Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”
- 2 Sam 13:22And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad, because he hated Amnon for disgracing his sister Tamar.
- Gen 32:6–11When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you—he and four hundred men with him.”
- 1 Kgs 2:23–25Then King Solomon swore by the LORD: “May God punish me, and ever so severely, if Adonijah has not made this request at the expense of his life.
- Gen 37:18–27Now Joseph’s brothers saw him in the distance, and before he arrived, they plotted to kill him.
- 2 Sam 13:28Now Absalom had ordered his young men, “Watch Amnon until his heart is merry with wine, and when I order you to strike Amnon down, you are to kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant!”
- 2 Chr 13:17Then Abijah and his people struck them with a mighty blow, and 500,000 chosen men of Israel fell slain.
- Gen 37:11And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept in mind what he had said.
Themes, concepts, people & topics
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Christ at the center
Wisdom personified, with God before creation and the agent of all things, anticipates Christ 'in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom' — the wisdom of God made flesh.
How Proverbs 18:19 points to him is part of the one story that runs through all Scripture — meet Jesus at the heart of the web, or follow a trail that traces him from Genesis to Revelation.
Original language
Each word below is tagged with its Strong’s number — tap one to see the underlying Hebrew word, its meaning, and every verse that uses it.